It’s finally here! It’s autumn! It’s my season! I don’t trust anyone who says they don’t like autumn. I love the volatility, I love the russet leaves, I love coats and boots and spice and pumpkins (god I love pumpkins) and spooky things and drizzle (yes) and having an excuse to stay in and be antisocial. Let’s face it: I’m a basic bitch. And I’m cool with that! So let’s get back to basics (not that I ever venture far from them) and take a look at how you, too, can be basic as hell this autumn.
Autumn, not fall
Let’s just clear this one up immediately: ‘autumn’ is so much classier than ‘fall’. We’re British basic bitches on this blog, which is why we say ‘Spring forward, autumn back’ to signify gaining an hour of sleep in autumn. Don’t fall for fall. I won’t be happy. However, I WILL make an exception when I one day fulfil bucket list item #842 and go to New England to chase the autumn leaves. It’s very likely I’ll burst with all the basic joy.
I have a thing to admit: I hate coffee, and as such, have never had a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte, or as the ultimate basics call it, a #PSL (hashtag mandatory). But this year I’m going to literally suck it up and buy myself the most basic beverage out there. Plus, they come in THE CUTEST autumnal cups. Very Insta-friendly. If you want to go the whole hog, add a cinnamon bun. If you leave it a bit late, don’t worry – the Christmas Starbucks red cups are also out-of-this-world basic.
I know, I know. One of the most divisive items of footwear – slightly above Crocs but below clogs. But if you wanna get with a BB, you’re gonna need to embrace the Uggly and slip on a pair of 2005’s finest. I hated them too back in the day… then ahead of my trip to Iceland last year I decided I NEEDED something warm and snug (Snugg boots, more like). And I’ve never looked back since. Take the plunge. Go on. Look at my ridiculous camel feet in that photo. Don’t you want ridiculous camel feet too? Extra bonus points if you’re wearing yours with leggings, tartan and an infinity scarf.
I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with Halloween. It’s my birthday (born to be basic), and so I’ve always had my birthday overshadowed by America’s spookiest export. But Halloween is arguably the most basic of the ‘special days’. Pumpkins (the most basic vegetable), horror films (basic), spiced rum cocktails (basic), fancy dress (basic). I don’t think I need to say anything else. If you want to do it properly, I suggest putting your Halloween wreath up now. Less than a month until the most basic day of the year guys!!!!111
This is right up my street. Nesting in autumn is very VERY hygge. From mid-September to late November, you will find the basic bitch in their natural habitat of a pile of blankets, throws and scatter cushions, Yankee candles, Netflix a-playing and a mouth-scorching pumpkin pie steaming the place up. We like that don’t we? Unfortunately in these conditions, it takes approximately three days to exhaust our Netflix list, but it’s OK – that’s what the ‘Rewatch This’ suggestions are for, right?
Plaid, tartan, checks, whatever – get some squares on your body and make sure they’re overlapping. I have tartan dresses, shirts, skirts (many), scrunchies, scarves… EVERYTHING IN PLAID. Worried you’re not looking basic enough this autumn? Stick a plaid shirt over whatever you’re wearing. Chuck a tartan headband on over your topknot (essential). Checked rucksack? Yeah why not. Channel a bit of Blair Waldorf, a bit of Cher Horowitz and basically all of the 90s and you won’t go wrong.
Right, I sincerely hope you have some foliage near you, because we’re going to be pulling on those Uggs and going outside. Autumnal walks are the #1 activity of the basic bitch (#PSL to go please), and make sure you step on the crunchy-looking leaves for maximum satisfaction. Other options include collecting conkers (apparently spiders don’t like them, so you can leave them on the windowsills to fend them off), going berry picking, foraging for mushrooms, gathering crab apples for making crumbles and Instagramming the shit out of the newly bronze trees near you.
These are just a few ideas to get you started – if you need more advice from the queen of autumn herself (me), hit me up and we’ll delve deeper into the world of the basic bitch. Fellow basics, what’s your favourite thing about this time of year?