I’m afraid you’ll have to bear with me a bit today as I’ve had a hideous few days, mainly due to the fact that I’ve been looking at jobs and it’s made me realise that the last thing I want to do is go back to uni to complete the degree I despise and then do a dissertation on something I couldn’t care less about. I’ve been itching to apply to all these jobs as it feels like I’m wasting so many opportunities. People keep telling me to go for it and do what will make me happy, but I can’t bear the thought of letting people down.
It’s pretty devastating, leaving a course which has inspired me and which I’ve actually thoroughly enjoyed, to return to something which leaves me feeling so… flat. I realised uni wasn’t for me really early on, so now I feel like an idiot for forcing myself through it for so long. I’m torn between not having wasted my time and money and just ploughing on, and being happy by letting myself do what I’m desperate to do. I feel very low at the moment as a result of this dilemma.
Anyway, we had the PA exam yesterday. I think it went surprisingly well, considering how patchy my knowledge is. Once again, I hit a run of lucky questions I’d focused on in past papers, which is fortunate. We’ll get the results back next week sometime I think.
Today we learnt some InDesign in Production Journalism. I prefer Quark, I must say. InDesign is apparently more commonly used, but Quark feels sleeker and more user-friendly.
In other news, our internet at home hasn’t been working. It’s tricky to carry out my journalistic duties, such as blogging, without home internet, as my poor old Blackberry can’t really keep up with everything I do. We were told not to expect internet until next week sometime, but it’s inexplicably working at the moment. If I disappear for days on end, you know why.
It’s our Production exam on Friday, and then at 12pm the course is all over. I couldn’t feel much worse about the prospect of the end of this course to be honest, but then we have our final meal to look forward to. And then… nothing. Oh god. What will I do?!
3 Comments Add yours
I can’t agree more with your attitude towards a degree that has failed to be fulfilling. Many people I know, including myself, have been seemingly locked in by the easy going attitude of the first year; before we discover that the whole experience isn’t really worth the thousands of pounds of debt, three lost ‘working years’ and the squalid living conditions. The pressure to complete it all, by the grim job market, family expectations and other financial worry only makes us further despise the whole affair.
It really looks as if you’ve found a new passion with journalism and it’s been a while since I’ve seen anyone enjoy a summer course quite as much as you have. Once UCL is out of the picture you can certainly move on to an area you can love.
Oh, and don’t use a Blackberry, those things are the devil’s spawn. 😉
Exactly! The wasted time and money haunt me constantly. It’s nice to have been able to reconnect with education on this course!
Also – Blackberrys* are great, what are you talking about?
*I hate the fact I have to spell it like this – bloody brand names